


Next to me

by GryffindorGirl94



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Peter is lovely, So much angst, Tony Feels, songfic kind of, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 09:25:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14850128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GryffindorGirl94/pseuds/GryffindorGirl94
Summary: I’m far from good it’s true,But still i find youNext to me (next to me)





	Next to me

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling emo as fuck and so i wrote this to unwind. I was also in my Tony feelings. Unbeta’d, cause there’s no way i’m bothering my beta with this nonsense. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. Also, please listen to this amazing [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axS6L0NX7VE). It was my inspiration to write this shit.

Peter found himself lingering in the Stark Tower’s common room yet again. Mr. Stark and him had finished their lab work for the day, and the older man had dismissed him with a “ _Go hang out with your friends or something, kid. I know you must be tired of putting up with my old grumpy self_.” If he only knew…

Peter very much enjoyed Tony’s company. Much more than he should, in fact. The man was brilliant in everything he did, and often Peter caught himself watching him in what he could only describe as adoration. He hoped he wasn’t too obvious about it, but even if Mr. Stark noticed it Peter knew he’d think nothing of it, dismissing the yearning expression on his face as hero worship or something similar.

The sound of a door being slammed brought him back to the present. He jumped slightly, startled, and watched Ms. Potts storm off the room without even acknowledging him. That was odd, since she always stopped to say hi whenever she saw him. _She must have gotten into another fight with Mr. Stark_. Those were very common these days, and Peter felt sorry for Mr. Stark, for it seemed he was always trying his best to please her and kept failing to do so. His heart ached at the thought, and he found himself wishing he could be in her place. He would give anything to be the one who owned Tony’s heart, to wake up by his side everyday and listen to his constant rambling about science and robotic engineering. Tony’s eyes would light up every time and Peter’s chest filled with affection for the man whenever that happened.

He wasn’t blind, though. He knew the man had constant panic attacks and enough emotional baggage to last for years, but that only made him more amazing in Peter’s eyes. Tony suffered from anxiety, PTSD, and used humor to hide his obvious self steem issues, and yet he still managed to push all that away and save the world whenever it was needed, always with a smile on his face and a joke on the tip of his tongue. He was the strongest person Peter knew, even with his flaws. No, _because_ of them. The man was and always would be his hero.

He shook his head to clear it for the time being and started to walk toward Tony’s office, determined to be there for the man. Someone had to, after all. It wasn’t fair that Tony had to save everyone all the time but no one could be bothered to at least keep him company.

“Mr. Stark? Are you alright?” He ventured into the room and wasn’t surprised to find the older man sitting at this desk, a glass of whiskey in one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other.

“Sure, kid. Always. Why are you still here anyway?” He sounded tired, so tired. _No, you’re not. Stop lying and let me help you, damn it_ he wanted to scream, but it would do no good.

“You don’t sound fine. Perhaps there’s something you want to talk about? I’m all ears, Mr. Stark.” He offered softly, moving to stand in front of Tony.

“I appreciate that, kid, but seriously, I’m fine. You should go have fun or do whatever teenagers do these days.” Lying, again. Peter felt a hot shock of anger go through him and stood his ground.

“I’m not going until you tell me what’s wrong. I care about you, Mr. Stark, and I hate to see you like this.” Emotion bled through his tone even as he tried to stop it.

“Hate to see me like this? Kid, this is all that’s there to see. This is me. Drunk and broken. Disappointing, isn’t it? Seeing your hero like this?” He stood up and stiffly poured himself another drink. Peter was frozen for a second, not expecting the man to explode like that, but he welcomed it. Finally, he was letting his lame excuses go and accepting he had a problem.

“No, Mr. Stark, it isn’t. You could never disappoint me. I know you struggle, and yet you’re still standing. Still fighting. You’ll always be my hero.” The last part had him blushing, but he didn’t regret saying it. It was the truth, after all.

“You must be the only one who thinks that, kid. You admire me, I get that. But I’m not the poster on your wall. I’m not the unbreakable Iron-Man. I’m not the confident Playboy. I’m just a mess of broken pieces. How ironic, I can fix everything except for myself. That’s the reason why Steve left. The reason Pepper can’t stand to be in my presence anymore. You’d do good in staying away from me, Peter. I’m nothing but trouble.” He laughed, but it sounded so bitter Peter actually cringed. _Who hurt you? Who made you believe you were broken beyond repair?._

“You’re not.” He made a short walk to stand in front of Tony. “You’re so much more than that, Mr. Stark. Can’t you see it? You care about people. You make them feel important, loved. Yes, you are a little broken, but you’re still so _amazing_. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“Probably with your friends somewhere, away from this world and all the dangers and responsibilities it brings with it. I’ll never forgive myself for doing that to you, bringing you into this. But Peter, you need to know that I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry.” Tony’s eyes were shining with emotion, and Peter felt himself die a little more inside. He meant every word he said: Tony was the most amazing person he’d ever met. Now, he had to find a way to make him see that.

“You’re completely missing the point. It was my decision too, and you couldn’t have stopped me even if you wanted to. I don’t care about any of that. I care about you, Mr. Stark.” He searched Tony’s eyes and stubbornly stared into them, wanting to make sure his point hit home.

“Why?” It was a mere whisper, and Tony had to clear his voice and try again. “ _Why?_ I’m far from good, Peter. I don’t want to drag you down with me.” The grief reflected in his eyes left Peter speechless. He threw caution to the wind and braced himself for the possible rejection.

“Because i know you’re in pain. Because you manage to be my friend and a sort of protective father figure, all at once. Because you deserve so much better than this, Mr. Stark. And I… I think i could give it to you. If you’d let me.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, hoping for the best. Even if Tony didn’t return his feelings, he was glad he’d told him. The man deserved to know, and Peter was tired of pretending he only saw him as a mentor and nothing more.

Tony’s eyes were wide with realization when Peter finally summoned the courage to face him again. It helped that he was standing while Tony was sitting down on his desk chair, the height difference giving Peter a sense or reassurance, for some reason.

The two of them faced each other, unmoving, for what felt like an eternity. Then, all of a sudden, he found himself being pushed forwards as two strong arms wrapped themselves around his waist, bringing him closer to their owner as said owner buried his head on Peter’s stomach and let out what sounded like a mix between a scream and a sob.

Peter froze. He’d never seen the man like this, not even close, but finally, _finally_ , he was giving in and admitting he wasn’t fine, and there was nothing in this world or in the whole galaxy that could’ve stopped Peter from holding Mr. Stark’s face closer to him as he whispered reassuring words into his hair.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay, Mr. Stark, you’re okay.”

Tony only cried harder and held him tighter, impossibly tight, as if he’d die if he let go. Peter welcomed it, everything. The joy at being able to comfort him, the pain at seeing him like this. Tony held him as if he could disappear at any given moment, and it broke Peter’s heart all over again. The glass of whiskey had shattered on the ground behind his feet somewhere, having been thrown unceremoniously to the ground when Tony hugged him, and that felt like some sort of sign.

Right in that moment, as he kissed Tony’s hair, Peter made a promise to himself and to the man in his arms: he’d rather _die_ than let anything happen to Tony ever again. If Peter’s love for Mr. Stark winded up killing him, then so be it. He was sure there were worst ways to go.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Peter’s thoughts about Tony are my own. I saw some stupid post on instragram today saying that Tony was a villain (¿???) and I lost my shit. Some days I truly hate this fandom.


End file.
